it might sound a bit dramatic – but it is what it is. or at least to me it feels to be what it is. summer has crept up on me in a sneaky and suspicious way. out of the blue i’ve been slapped with two very normal realities – but i don’t always handle normal so well, let alone two realities at once.
after an internal battle of sorts, we made the decision to put danny into public school for kindergarten. this is not a public school bashing, however my heart was somewhere else and as it turns out – this is going to be the best route for us, for now. all this time i’ve thought to myself ‘he’ll still be around during the day, summer vacation would be as it always was… like any other day‘. now i’ve been faced with the fact that in a few short months he will leave my side and enter into a world all his own. school. this is the last summer before he really has summer breaks. the last summer with an innocent and wide-eyed five year old, the last summer as things are.
then there’s her. my muse, my mini me, my sister. after a lot of indecision, it’s final. come fall she is moving 3000 miles east for college. while i’m thrilled for her, anxious to see her future unfold, curious for all that awaits her – i can’t help but feel sad. ten years between us used to be a huge gap, not so much anymore. now she is one of my best friends. she gets me when i have no words, she surprises me with coffees, cries with me, laughs with me, encourages and supports me. going from 30 seconds away to many, many states away, is going to be a challenge. this really is her last summer as a teenager. her last summer before adulthood grips her with challenges and joys and excitement all it’s own. her last summer, ahem, our last summer just as we are.
so it leaves me with some emotion. good and bad. smiles and tears. these two realities have been tough to swallow. instead of swimming in self pity, i’ll be drinking in the long summer days with them. reading stories with my bubs and movie nights with my sister. making the most of this summer, enjoying the blessings i have, and working on a personal project that has been hovering around me for years. i will though be working with an amazing group of students in my online photography class, and managing the fantastic photography series on the creative mama. ultimately, i’m thrilled that my summer will be full of family. full of love.
thanks for bearing with me as i make the most of these importants in my life. i hope you’re doing the same.
by angie
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